It's Time We Burn The Umbrella

Recently one of my Facebook friends posted this umbrella picture which claims to represent God's design for the family. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this graphic. In fact, it pops up about once a month.

On one hand, it looks harmless enough. It’s dripping in Christianese and promotes a complementarian view of marriage where everyone has a role to play. But while it might look innocent at first glance, this graphic is actually dangerous — even heretical. Here’s why:

1. It’s not even logical.

The only reason you’d need a second umbrella is if the one above it were leaky. Jesus doesn’t have holes in His umbrella. So why would we need extra ones? 🙂

2. It denies the priesthood of all believers.

ALL believers have equal standing before the Father. Every believer has the same access to His throne.

A woman’s mediator is Jesus — not her husband. Men aren’t the only ones who hear the Spirit’s voice. Women do too.

The Gospels show us that Jesus never treated women as subservient. He honored them. He entrusted them with ministry, leadership, and evangelism. (See the Samaritan woman at the well, or the numerous women who spread the Gospel in the early church. For more, read The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr.)

3. It forces gender stereotypes.

This diagram says men are protectors and women are nurturers. But can’t a husband also nurture, teach, and comfort? Can’t a wife also provide for her family and lead her children?

Marriage was designed as an equal partnership. Husband and wife co-lead their home. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were told to co-rule creation together — not in hierarchy, but as co-heirs.

4. It comes from Bill Gothard.

This matters. The umbrella diagram was created by Bill Gothard, a disgraced leader with numerous allegations of sexual misconduct.

He promised his followers something false: stay in your “place,” obey this structure, and you won’t face spiritual attack or pain. That’s not just dangerous — it’s flat-out heresy.

God isn’t waiting to strike us down the moment we misstep. He is merciful. He offers grace upon grace. He pursues His children in love.

And let’s be clear:

• A husband cannot offer his wife supernatural protection simply because of he has different anatomy than she.

• He cannot shield his family from Satan or suffering.

• He is human and imperfect.

Only Jesus offers true protection. And even He never promised a pain-free life. Quite the opposite — He told us to expect suffering in this broken world.

5. It distorts our view of Jesus.

Jesus isn’t a genie who makes our lives prosperous if we’re “good enough.”

Suffering doesn’t mean you’ve stepped out from under His “umbrella.” It simply means you live in a broken world.

But here’s the hope: Jesus promised to walk with us through the pain. He promised that even in trials, we don’t lose hope — because He has already overcome the world.

6. Scripture points to armor, not umbrellas.

The Bible never tells us to hide under umbrellas. It tells us to put on armor.

The Sword of the Spirit. The Shield of Faith. The Helmet of Salvation.

Art Credit Josh Staller

Armor reminds us that battles are messy, painful, and real — and that sometimes we get wounded. But we can have hope because the end was already decided -- when Jesus defeated death 2,000 years ago.

Jesus Himself is our armor — not another flawed human being. Not outdated gender roles. Not man-made diagrams.

So maybe instead of umbrellas, we should focus on Jesus and focus on loving and serving our neighbors.

After all, Jesus told us those two things were the greatest commandments.

So let's stop complicating things by shoving people into stereotypical boxes. Just love folks equally.

Like Jesus.

~ Emily Elizabeth Anderson